the horror of the internet: everyone can publish
for those intrepid authors who have started self-publishing in droves for the amazon kindle using the digital text platform, ive got a few little tips for you:
Tip 1: write a fucking description for your book or short story!
im sorry, but this kind of shit just does not cut it:
Book Descriptionim perfectly willing to buy a few short stories or novellas from independent authors, but absolutely NOT if theres no description of said story/novella.
Great Sci Fi short story by Gerry Maddren!
Tip 2: upload a cover image. and i dont mean you and your fucking dog.
yeah, i know, dont judge a book by its cover. theres just one problem: theres a fucking bajillion books in the kindle store. and i just dont have time to scrutinize them all. one of the ways i try to weed out the piddly shit that isnt worth my time is the cover images. if a title doesnt have one, im not even going to look at it. if you cant take the time to grab paint shop pro and make a cheesy space background with words on it, why should i take the time to look at your work?
even better, head down to the local community college, find a talented artist, and slip them a little cash to get something NICE done.
Tip 3: just because your written fantasies of giant gay/straight/exospecies space orgies make you randy doesnt mean its the right kind of thing for publishing.
im really fucking sick of all the "gangbang on mars" kind of shit that is starting to clutter up the listings. its bad enough amazon wont let you list more than 12 fucking books on a page (c'mon amazon lets party like its 2008 for a change), its even worse when space alien lesbian tentacle rape sagas are taking up slots on the page. seriously, who the fuck buys your shit? i think youd have better luck listing your freakshow stuff on fetish sites specifically geared towards it.