ed recently suggested that since i see so many movies, and am so opinionated about all of them, i should consider doing movie reviews... eventually this will get its own section but for now, theyll go in the blog...

before anyone can say "dear god, you didnt actually spend money to see that movie, did you?!?" let me explain: i bought an annual pass to a local independent movie theater, so its kinda like an all you can eat buffet of movies for me...

that said, if tomb raider were the only thing on the menu, id starve to death... it isnt that the movie is BAD, it just isnt GOOD... its hard to explain, really... im watching the movie and im thinking, ok, this flick has everything it needs for summer-movie-fluff goodness... a hot chick, hot skintight outfits, guns, gadgets, explosions, chases, a holographic marble, kung-fu, pottery-soldier-fu, hell it even has shark-fu... and as i watch i feel like i SHOULD be enjoying myself, even as i start to nod off to sleep...

and evidently im not the only one lulled by this film... the actors sleepwalk through the scenes, and jolie in particular seems to just be phoning this one in... the action scenes just dont have any action, there is no excitement, and it all comes off feeling very lame... about as thrilling as a few kids running around the house, hiding behind furniture, and shouting "bang bang" at each other as they point their fingers...

but even the worst films have SOMETHING going for them, even if its just unintentional goofiness, and this one is no exception... the shark-punching is nearly as funny as travolta shooting the legs off a cow, and the waaay over-the-top expressions of shock on the faces of the african tribal leaders at the end when seeing the holomarble is not to be missed... evidently their shamanic magic is capable of channeling shatner on demand...

if you can see it for free, and youre pretty stoned, you might get some enjoyment from the accidental absurdity, but otherwise ive got to say "avoid"... thumbs down on this boring turd of a movie...